One day during the time that I was waiting for my son to be born, a dear friend told me that once I had kids, I wasn't going to want to hang out with people that didn't have kids... for the most part, he was absolutely correct. Actually, the truth is, that I don't want to hang out with anyone anymore, whether they have kids or not.
I find myself using the baby as an excuse to not go out more and more. The majority of my friends that I do hang out with, have either had kids recently, or within the last few years, or are just old dear friends that I love to death.
But the reason that I don't hang out with anyone really anymore, with or without kids, is because both parties are equally exhausting, and annoying. I have found that my tolerance level for stripper or AA girl drama with my single friends has gone down to a pretty much 0... the last thing I want to hear about when a friend picks me up after a long day of chasing my son around the house, and picking up the same toys 98 times and throwing them back in the bin, is a long hard whine down Fairfax about how "Raven" isn't calling you back, or how the chick with 12 days made you wear a condom, but didn't make your friend use one when she fucked him right after you.
My friends with kids show me pictures, tell me stories, and complain about not sleeping like I give a fuck. MY kid is the cutest kid... period. I am only interested in what HE does, and how brilliant HE is... and I haven't slept in 17 months, so shut the fuck up... I get it. Just order a pizza and watch the episode of Modern Family I've already seen 20 times with me. Don't talk, just stare into the television and enjoy your night off.
Today was different though, I got to go to a birthday party for one of Sa's friends. Her twin babies turned one, and are super cute and really fun to watch. Another one of Sa's friends who has a son Calin's age with mutual friend of mine came as well, and he is the fucking cutest thing ever. I have been trying to make them friends since they were born, but today Calin kinda blew by trying to yank out his hair for an eye patch, (It was a pirate themed birthday party).
Animals... all of them. Snotty, bossy, control freaky animals. It's like being on tour with a bratty lead singer with entitlement issues, only problem with those is, they can actual form sentences.
I get to sleep in tomorrow. We take turns each morning waking up with him... only problem with that is, the walls are thin, and I find myself humming along to those Scientology based children songs through the paint chipped covered concrete with pillow over my head, and an imaginary gun in my mouth.
I love my life, I love my friends, whether they annoy the fuck out of me or not... but what's the point of living if you can't make people wonder if you are talking about them or not?
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